The distinguished feline from Chester County has something important to say. After careful examination of the facts and circumstances surrounding the return of the marauding rodents we call squirrels, his keen intellect has deduced poignant theories regarding the environment’s causal relationship to the nature of his nemesis. Schrödinger’s cat would be proud. Alas, our inspired friend, has the soul of a philosopher scientist, but the larynx of a cat. We shall never know what brilliance lays behind those knowing eyes.